I replied “average”. She laughed and said “not good enough”. “Do you remember exodus 15 and Marah?” Hmm! I replied “no”“This was after the Israelites had just crossed the Red Sea and were jubilating over such a great miracle and deliverance from God and then just as joy and laughter was still in the air, they came to a place called Marah where the water was bitter. Often wondered in my early days as a Christian why did God take them straight from victory and rejoicing into a city of bitterness. The Reverend tried cheering me up with the bible and words of encouragement but it only made the food taste sour in my mouth and I walked out on him, leaving him with Nene. Then one Sunday day, whilst at home, windows open, I heard the choir of a church some distance away singing. Later I heard a man; I think it must be their pastor teaching on the Holy Spirit. I remembered the church in Ghana and suddenly this exodus scripture came into my heart and I found myself asking why? Why bring joy and laughter and bitterness at the same time? Why bring marriage, children, a good job and death? Then the story of job came to mind. What did job do to deserve such cruelty of faith? As i asked these questions and many more, I wept bitterly, the burden of loss and guilt was too heavy for one soul to bear for this long, I knew I couldn’t continue living like this because I was dying inside. I desperately needed help and I knew that only the Holy Spirit could provide that help though I resented God. With a tears-soaked on my knees, I shouted “Holy Spirit please comfort me, help me”. I just wept before Him and like as if I was talking with one physically with me, I poured my heart’s content before Him and I did not know when I slept off. I woke up some hours later feeling lighter in me with a change of perception towards my life. I don’t know how it happened but I knew it was the Holy Spirit of Jesus. I remembered Isaiah 61:3 where He said he will give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. I got dressed, when downstairs and out of the house looking for that church. On my way searching, I saw a bookshop got in and bought a bible and that was the beginning of my recovery journey to this present day. I have exchanged one destructive reality for another beautiful and blissful reality in Jesus by the comforting and guiding help of the Holy Spirit.” She was now laughing. Like a burden lifted off from my chest, I said to myself “so this is the story of this bubbling, full of life Mrs. Fimie; the Holy Spirit is her story; the Holy Spirit gave her a new reality”. She then asked me “why do you think I am telling all these?” I just mopped because I didn’t know though I was glad she did… “Do you remember my friend Nene from Ghana?” I replied “yes”. “She got married to a Nigerian from the east and had one boy and two girls. The name of one of those girls is Uju Anyanwu”. My head swelled like as if it was going to explode, I fell off my seat, sweat profusely gushing from every part of me. I was speechless and dumb. I could not say a thing; not a word came out of me, all I heard was the fast pace of my heart beat. She reached out and held my hand, helped me back to my seat and then said.. “Yes, your wife and I know what happened. Nene told me too about the loss of her daughter. I was at the funeral too but when I saw you I knew your grief was much. Nene told me how you blamed yourself, have stopped calling, stopped eating well, and stopped taking care of yourself. She said the last time she saw you, you were looking terrible and lost. She also told me where you worked and So when it was time to open my pensions account, I came to your company and insist it has to be you that will handle my file so that I could her keep an eye on you for the Holy Spirit and Nene.” Ooooh! Now I understand why I was drawn to her. It is the Holy Spirit waiting to translate and transform me from my guilt ladened reality to the reality of joy and peace in Jesus. She said “do you see Mr Ewang; the bus driver?” I said “yes” she said “because he gave his life to Jesus, he has met the Holy Spirit, that’s why he is guilt free. He knows what he has done and the repercussion but because the Holy Spirit has helped him find peace and taken away guilt, he is ready to face its consequences no matter how dire. It was after the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost in the Acts Chapter 2, that the disciples became bold and fearless even unto threat of death because he gave them peace with Jesus.” She smiles and said “Gwamezioku, do you want the Holy Spirit of Jesus to transform your guilt reality to that of joy and peace?” I knelt down and said yes without hesitation because I needed help and she prayed for me.



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