Mid-anger crisis is the second stage and here avoidance is not possible or impracticable. There are some anger-inducing situation, circumstances or persons that cannot be avoided. Utopia is good but we live in a real world with real people and real issues. Also one of the innate characteristic of man is the craving for relationship of whatever kind.
We are not designed or created to be alone or live in solitude, physical contact and interaction is one of the qualities of the human nature that drive him to the pursuit of warmth, affection, love and friendship, hence we are not created but born and born by two people who themselves were born by two people alongside several other people, this is family. This relationship-craving nag has it good side and bad side and the bad side is what generates anger. For instance, how can you avoid a nagging mother, a terrible father, a quarrelsome brother or sister, an irritating uncle or aunt, cousins, etc.? The answer is, you cannot. What is worse is the Husband and Wife scenario, unabated quarrels sometimes lead to deadly ends.
What is required is Wisdom. The Bible says in Proverbs 4:7 “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom…” Job 28:18 “No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearl: for the price of wisdom is above rubies” This raises the question;
What is wisdom?
Where do we get wisdom?
How is wisdom gotten from question 2?
What is Wisdom? Wisdom is the right application of knowledge, it is the ability of man to properly analyze all and every necessary information and data and then put that information/data into operation that will produce a desired/expected/predicted outcome.
So what is knowledge? Knowledge is the right perception(understanding) of available facts, information and data without biases’ (experiential, tribal, communal, etc.) Proverbs 9:10 “…and the knowledge of the Holy is understanding” Proverbs 10:14 “Wise men layup knowledge; but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction”
So, here you need to have the knowledge of the issues and scenarios that is/will generate conflict without personal colorations that might tint the originality of intents; what are those words, circumstances and situations that heat-up quarrels and strife? Identify them(knowledge) and wisdom will enable you know how to deal with them…Proverbs 15:18 “A wrathful man stirreth up strife; but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife”
“The discertion of a man deferreth his anger and it is his glory to pass over a transgression”
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city”
“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bossom of fools”
For instance, money-issue-in-marriage; when do you get angry when it is raised? In most cases, it is whether you are not having enough compared to the amount that has been demanded…So you now know that you get offended and angry when sums of money higher than what you have is demanded of you and being the “breadwinner” of the family, you cannot avoid such demands. Your answer to such demand now requires Wisdom (Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger”) and so that leads us to the next question; “where do we get wisdom?”
“And thou shalt speak unto all that are wise hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom…”
“And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom…”
1st Kings 4:29
“And God gave Solomon wisdom…”
1st Chronicles 22:12
“Only the Lord give thee wisdom…”
“With the ancient is wisdom…”
From these scriptures and many more, it is clear that the wisdom that manages your anger is from God and so the 3rd question “How is wisdom gotten from question 2?
“And unto man he said, behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom…”
“If not hearken unto me; hold thy peace, and I shall teach thee wisdom”
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…”
“To receive the instruction if wisdom…”
With these few scriptures, we can get wisdom from God by being taught and receiving instructions therein from His Word and it all beginnings with your reverend fear for God. what this means is that for you to get wisdom, you will need to either be taught or study the Bible but it must be studied with fear of God in your heart…Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
To be taught means you MUST belong to a local church around because only the church of God has the divine authority to teach and preach the words and will of God and you must study your Bible regularly… 2nd Timothy 2:15 “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth”
In essence, it means you must be born again to be able to manage yourself out of an anger-provoking situation because it will require wisdom from God and God does not give/teach wisdom to the heart that is not submissive “Totally” to Him.
So when you find yourself in a “Unavoidable” anger-provoking situation, to have an accurate and well assessed understanding of the anger-provoking-issue(Knowledge), you will require God and after the knowledge, to apply wisdom, you will still require God.
It is at this stage the battle is either won or lost over anger.
In the next article, we will be discussing the 3rd stage in anger management.
Till then, stay blessed and keep reading Scripture Addict and sending in your comments.
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